To All the Single Ladies

I know exactly how you feel because I am single too. If anything, this is a heart to heart, to let you know that you are not the only one feeling the way you do. There’s someone else too. In fact, many.

Let’s start from the beginning. There’s a reason I refrained from calling you single “girls” because come on, that’s not what a lot of us are anymore. The mirror confirms it. Our relatives second it.

Most of the people you know who are close to your age are well, not single anymore. They are either going steady in a relationship if not already married with kids. There is this particular stage when wedding cards keep pouring in at your home. Some of them might even be of people you care about. But do you feel really happy when you see those? You comment on the colour, graphics and venue, to divert your attention from the elephant in the room — there goes another one but not you.

The worst are those times when no matter how confident you are, you are pushed to wonder if there is something wrong with you. You know for a fact that when you pushed away an opportunity, you did the right thing. You got yourself out before all hell broke loose. Still later, when you sit alone watching YouTube videos, you doubt yourself.

I love eating out. But whenever I eat out alone, I can’t help noticing a certain kind of sympathy in people’s eyes. It does get a bit to you when the waiter comes and takes away the chair opposite you to seat other customers. That too, without asking you because after a few times, they recognise you as “the one who comes alone.”

Then, there are your well-wishers. Your family and friends can’t stop worrying about your single status. At times, they seem sadder for you than you actually feel for yourself.

You end up doing a lot of stuff on your own — shopping, sight-seeing, watching movies and other everyday stuff like eating. You learn to be self-sufficient because you never know how long it will be like this. You learn to smile when you see couples deeply in love.

Most of all, you learn to accept that some things like love, the kind that lasts, cannot be rushed. It cannot be forced to happen. So till it does, you stand by as your biggest support, loving yourself.

Sincerely,
Yet another single lady