Adjustment

Mia Winhertt

When you said
You didn’t like
What I did,
I dropped it.

When you said
You didn’t like
What I said,
I shut it.

When you said
You didn’t like
What I thought,
I stopped it.

And then one day,
I realized,
I didn’t like
Who I was becoming.

So I picked what I dropped.
So I opened my shut mouth.
So I started thinking again.
And I walked out.

For honey, as much as I love you,
I’ll adjust just as much,
As I don’t lose
Who I am.

For I can change
Five or even fifty things.
But if I’m told to change everything,
Then I think I need to change, from you!

— Dedicated to everyone who has been adjusting a tad bit too much for someone else and has forgotten what it is like to live for oneself

57 thoughts on “Adjustment”

  1. Enjoyed your post, Mia. Many of the things you say here should be heeded.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch

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  3. Mia I loved this. I hope it will blessed many women around the world to take action if they have to become someone they are not in order to live with someone else. Bless you my friend. Sending you love and hugs. Joni

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  7. This is absolutely a beautiful poem….a reminder to reconnect from the disconnected….reminding – who we (in general) really are in the deep….what sorts of sacrifices we sometimes expect from others for our own sake….without seeing the beauty of the very being ❤️✨

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      1. You’re welcome Mia….and I absolutely agree….I’ll think of your poem whenever I expect myself from others….the raw form is the purest one than the formed form

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  10. Exactly, Mia! If someone likes a version of you that doesn’t exist, what point is there in pursuing the relationship? Obviously, he (or she) is in love with someone else, not you. Pretending to be an idealized version of yourself is exhausting, unfair and, ultimately, is impossible to sustain.

    Sure, some change in all relationships is inevitable. This isn’t a bad thing, either, as the healthiest encounters are those which encourage both parties to improve. Still, the broad themes stay valid. If even these won’t do, though, what, exactly, are we doing here? You’re looking for someone else, not me.

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging response, Keith! 🙂

      As always, you got the theme spot on. The best relationships are the ones where people are allowed to be themselves, in all their glory and gore and yet loved unconditionally. ❤

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  15. Excellent! Goes along with the quote, “I’ve compromised so much, I’ve forgotten who I am.”
    As I was reading the end of this, the thought cane to me that if we’re expected to keep changing snd changing, they probably isn’t really want “us” in the 1st place, just someone to mold into someone to cater exclusively to them. Sounds like a narcissist’s slave. Good blog!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Mary! I really appreciate it. 🙂

      You are very right. We have to accept ourselves for who we are and know that it is absolutely fair to want someone else to also do the same.

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