What If You’re Not a Mother?

It’s Mother’s Day.
So we speak of mothers.
When do we speak
Of they who are not mothers?
When do we speak of you
If you are not a mother?

What if you are someone
Who is a single father?
Someone who has to
Learn, unlearn and relearn everything
That comes naturally to women?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who is gay with a partner?
Someone who has to
Struggle to give your child
A normal childhood?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who is still looking for love?
Someone who struggles to
Withald her maternal instincts
In front of a stranger’s kid?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who is not able to conceive?
Someone who’s been trying for long,
Aided by technology,
Supported by family?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who is waiting for adoption?
Someone who has been
On the list seemingly forever,
Only as a prospective?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who doesn’t have the adoption option?
Someone who’s partner or family
Insists on the value of blood,
Leaving you to fate?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Who lives away from your child?
Someone separated by fate,
Kept away by circumstances,
Having no option to return?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are someone
Whose child is no more?
Someone who remembers her darling’s
Funeral clearer than her birth,
With no child at home now?
Because you are not a mother.

What if you are still someone else
Who wants to be
Yet is not a mother?
To that maternal instinct of love,
I send my love
This Mother’s Day.

21 thoughts on “What If You’re Not a Mother?

  1. A needed and appreciated poetic perspective, Mia. I posted a poetic tribute for my mom this morning – while writing it I considered many of the situations you mentioned. Holidays can bring joy, but they can also make people feel excluded and lonely.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Michele! πŸ™‚

      You’re right. We might unknowingly strike a chord, sadly a painful one, with someone when we are drenched in our celebrations. Let us try to be a little sensitive to those around us. I’m glad you’re in this with me through your post. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully written, that’s why I do not believe in the concept of Mother’s Day and other days, which I think are just marketing gimmick to sell more merchandise, however, I do not want to discourage someone who celebrates it. Everyone has their own opinions and beliefs, which I very much respect. Just that I do not believe in a particular day. Everyday should be a celebration of the relationships that we have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely words, Trishikh! πŸ™‚

      I couldn’t agree with you more. When one cherishes someone, one cherishes every single day with them. Covid has made us all very much aware of how important it is to do that.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am always excited for Mothers Day, to celebrate my mother, and my sisters. I also honor the mother of my children, though we are no longer a couple. I appreciate how you identify in your poem so many of the human situations involving yearnings to be a mother, and yearnings to mother. Many women do not have children; some cannot have children. Every woman is unique. Every woman can be powerful. I believe that every woman can mother, if she desires to. A childless woman can be powerful mothering influence. So many children need mothering, and don’t get it, even from their biological mothers–other mothering women can fill the gap and make the difference. I know many single women who are powerful change agents in this world. They are beautiful inside and out, and are all mothers, giving love, inspiration, affirmation, and strength to the children in their sphere of influence. No matter where we find ourselves, we all have something important to offer that only we can uniquely offer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by to comment, Roger. πŸ™‚

      It’s really good to know how you feel about this topic. You are right. Even I know quite a few women who are not mothers and are way past the age to become so. But they have been strong influences in my life (and many others’ too, I’m sure). I love my Mom but do very much feel a motherly affection from these women too. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. When do we get to celebrate without people dragging down the fun? haha When we celebrate others, it’s not an insult to those who are not being honored. It is a way to offer support to people who are working to do something very long and hard.


    1. Jessica, thanks for commenting.

      I love my Mom and try to make her feel good, not just on Mother’s Day but otherwise too when I get the chance. But I also love some others who would have made wonderful mothers but could not. This was my tribute to them.

      WordPress, like every other place was swamped with tributes to mothers. One poem of mine here would not spoil anyone’s fun.


    1. Thank you so much for your kind words for my poem, Jean. πŸ™‚

      I don’t have the capacity to say anything about the heartwarming service you are doing for your mother as what you are doing is so beyond words. My poem is dedicated to the likes of you to let you know that you are appreciated. πŸ€—πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

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